I hear a lot of my married friends talk about the importance of dating their mates. I believe that the same is important when it comes to your children. Life can get so busy with cooking, cleaning, school, shopping, disciplining, errands, etc. Just like being busy can get in the way of a romantic relationship the same can happen with your children.

Dating is supposed to fun. A way to reconnect and focus on each other outside of the “every day of life”. Your children need this time as well. It helps them to see that you really enjoy spending time with them. And it can remind you that parenting {although hard work} can have it’s fun moments as well.

We went to see a show and had dinner, which I know can be a bit expensive. But there are lots of other ways to date your children:

• Movie night at home: Have pizza for dinner, pop some popcorn and cuddle up on the couch in your jammies and enjoy a great family movie. My boys and I have pizza and movie night every Saturday. It’s been great sharing some of my favorite childhood movies with them and very interesting to see the kinds of movies they love to watch.
• Picnic lunch at the park: When it’s really nice outside pack up the kids and head to the closest park for a picnic. And old sheet or blanket works nice to lay on. It’s a fun time to enjoy the weather and have fun together. If you have really little ones it’s also a good way to tired them out {playing at the park} and they could even nap on the blanket.
• Free stuff: Take a look in your community for any free activities going on. Free museum days, church festivals, and community center activities are great places to have some free {or really inexpensive} fun!
• Ask your children what they are into: My oldest has been dancing for three years so I took him to see The Nutcracker Ballet.He LOVED it! My little guy loves Thomas the Train Engine. A local railroad museum has a Thomas the Train event each year and we’re going to go for the first time!
• Art day: Getting out paints glue and any art supplies you have laying around and start creating. When they are dry and done hang them up and make your own art gallery to show off all the hard work.

Date night can be anything at all, as long as you’re having fun. If you have older children setting aside a time to really talk and listen to their hearts can be just as rewarding as a movie or dinner.

Do you date your children?? What’s your favorite thing to do??

I just bought this bright blue relaxed vintage tee from J. Crew for $16, and it’s been a new wardrobe go-to for me:

Ready with your bold tee and need some wardrobe inspiration? Choose one of these five outfits to make your bright tee work all summer long:

bold and bright
event: a fun day out shopping with the girls
goal: comfy and cute (and easy to change!)
outfit: your basic tee + a bright skirt + flats

skirt: Gap, thrifted $2 /shoes: Unlimited, $19/ belt: American Eagle, $8

romance and pearls

event: summer wedding or baby shower
goal: dressy but cool and comfortable
outfit: bold tee + vintage scarf belt + light skirt + bright heels + pearls

skirt: Loft, $20/ shoes: vintage Nine West, $5/ jewelry + belt scarf: thrifted $1 each

easy does it

event: casual weekend, running errands
goal: easy and comfy
outfit: bold tee + fun cardigan + trousers + comfy sandals

sweater: A&F, $20/ jeans: Anoname, thrifted, $7/ sandals: Gianni Bini, $28/ necklace: lisa leonard

fun + funky

event: date night or girl’s night out
goal: dressy with coverage
outfit: bold tee under a vintage dress + fun belt + strappy fun heels

dress: vintage thrifted, $5/ belt: $1/ shoes: Payless, $16

vintage flair

event: summer barbecue or afternoon date
goal: happy with a little vintage flavor
outfit: bold tee + bright skinnies + t-strap wedges + vintage head wrap + chunky bracelet
 

pants: Target, $20 / shoes: Payless, $11/ scarf: vintage, $1/ bracelet: J. Crew, $20 (gift)

It’s amazing how the same t-shirt can look have such completely different looks based on what you pair with it! Mixing and matching your tee with a just a few other pieces can give you at least five new outfits. Imagine what it could do with the rest of your closet!

You can wear your new investment tee all week long (though you might want to wash it every other day or so… you know!). Now go have fun creating a whole new wardrobe with just one bright tee!

Haley

Q. My question is probably silly, but what are your “go to” brands for everyday clothes? You always look so cute, but I can never find any info about where her specific wardrobe from a movie or episode of MIOBI (Make It Or Break It) or a photo-shoot comes from!

A. I love clothes, ok.. call it an obsession. I am a girly girl at the core when it comes to shopping and fashion. I don’t always hit the mark but I’m continually evolving and finally feel like I know what’s “me”. My favorite brand jeans are Paige Denim because they always seem to work on my body type and Mother Denim which are ridiculously soft. I love wearing Rebecca Taylor, Nanette Lapore, Alice and Olivia, Parker, Vince, and Elizabeth & James. I live in tanks tops from J. Crew and Mossimo (you can’t beat the softness or price!). I also shop at chain stores like Madewell, J. Crew, Club Monaco & Urban Outfitters. An internet site I like is www.tobi.com which has super cute clothes at good prices. Now save up, and happy shopping!

Courbron5

Q. Hi Candace, I was wondering when and how you like to spend your quiet time. And what books are you currently reading? 

A. I usually have some quiet time first thing in the morning so I can start my day off right. That quiet time involves reading the Bible in bed (I prefer using a “daily bible” for this which tells me what to read each day) and prayer time. It’s usually about 15 minutes. Then, throughout the day, I’ll find time to work on my bible study which takes anywhere from 20-40 minutes. Sometimes it’s in the car when I’m waiting in the carpool line to pick up my kids, at the boys hockey practice, on my couch at home if I have a quiet afternoon to myself or in my dressing room if I’m working. I just find pockets of time to do it. I’ve been involved with a women’s small group bible for about 10 years. We usually use a DVD set with a study guide from teachers like Beth Moore, Angela Thomas and Priscilla Shirer. There are so many great teachers out there and I would encourage you to join a small group at your church if you’re not already or pick up a study for yourself.

I’m currently studying Angela Thomas’ Brave and reading her book 52 Things Kids Need From a Mom. On a totally different note, after voraciously reading The Hunger Games Trilogy, and now I’m reading Game Change: Obama and the Clintons, McCain and Palin, and the Race of a Lifetime.  

Tinamarie1021

Q. If you are on the run with your family, how do you teach your children to order healthy at fast food restaurants?

A.  Kids had no choice! LOL. I basically gave them 2 or 3 choices of what I’d allow them to eat, then they chose from that. We taught them to eat healthy since they were little, so at ages 10, 12 and 13, they know how to order. We don’t eat typical drive through fast food (unless it’s IN & OUT) and you can’t pay my kids to eat at the Golden Arches. Seriously.  If we’re on the run and want something quick, we eat at places like Subway, Quiznos, Baja Fresh, Chipotle or simply run to the grocery store. My kids love fries, chips and cookies like everyone else, but know that if they want one of those, they choose the baked chips or split the fries. They’ve been trained to know that when they order in our presence to choose a salad or fruit for their side.  It’s really just consistency and teaching your kids WHY you order what you do. Tell them how it affects their body either giving them energy or depleting it which will affect their sports. Keep ordering with them and if they make a poor choice, step in and modify the order. Yeah, they whine about it for minute.. but if they know mom is not gonna budge, they’ll eventually stop complaining. If you eat healthy during the week,  let them order what they want on the weekends. That way, you’re not denying them, but teaching them how to eat unwholesome foods in moderation.

Jenifer

Q. What has been your most difficult decision as a Christian woman in regards to your career as an actress?

A. Tough question. The most difficult decisions for me always come down to language and sex. (Is this word or that word too terrible to say, even though it’s allowed on prime time?) How far is too far when it comes to sex? (FYI, I’ve never done and never even considered doing a sex scene). But is being in bed (clothed) with another actor too much? What about making out? A kiss on the lips? Peck on the cheek? Each of us has our own personal convictions and its a tough call when it comes to “acting”. As a Christian, there is a standard in which I personally want to see in television and movies in which a story can be told without a gratuitously offensive nature. That is why I try to choose family friendly films or a character with redeeming qualities the audience can learn from. But just speaking as an actress, there are certainly roles I’d love to dig into that would challenge and stretch me. Sometimes those roles involve grittier material which at the end of the day, I can’t alway justify as a Christian. There are so many variables that play a role in each project I choose like personal conviction, my family, and even the possibility of disappointing my fans with edgier material, despite an overall good message within a movie.  I think the most difficult decision as a Christian actress is knowing where to draw the line on content.

♥♥♥

Do you have a question for Candace? We want to know! Please leave it on the comments below and she will try and answer it over the next few months!!

I think its a daily feeling for me, with the big question being “How do I keep all my plates in the air and in what order do I spin them?”

In other words, how do we keep our heads above water in a world that seems to be crashing in around us? (Mind you this isn’t some fool-proof master plan, its just how keep those little men in little white coats from coming to take me away.)

First job, list your plates:

Here are mine, in order…God, husband, Kiddos: Strawberry Shortcake, Turbo, Tinker Bell, and the Teeny Tot, homeschool, family time, 2 dogs, 1 cat, cooking, cleaning, laundry, kids activities, me time (yeah right…)

Second job, Prioritize! This will be different for everyone, here’s my list:

1. God: “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33

At times like this its important to keep things in perspective. If everything else gets pushed aside today, will it really matter? So what if the laundry sits for the day? So what if I order in Pizza instead of making dinner? So what if we take a day off school? Really, in order to keep all the plates of life spinning, we have to make priorities. The first one must be time with God, and the priority of God will naturally pass down to your children as they see you spending regular time with God. In regards to homeschool, if we don’t get anything else done, I at least try to make it a priority that we do our Bible time. Now, I’m preaching to myself here, because for me this is the easiest to let slide, and I can easily for get about it until I go to bed, then instantly I realize that I forgot to do my devotion. I’ve made a deal with myself that if this happens, I will get up, turn on the light and do it, right then and there. Better late then never I say. I also use this motto to justify starting school late ;o). A great resource for being in the word daily is the Daily Audio Bible, and they have a Kids Daily Audio Bible too!

2. Husband: This is important parents, husbands/wives must come before kids. And I think its important for kids to see that your husband/wife has priority. Your spouse will be there long after the kids are gone, and while there is a definite season when kids seem to prevail in order due to sheer necessity, its still important to recognize that your spouse should be your priority. Marriage was the first institution created by God “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 Therefore, if God placed that importance on marriage, than so shall we! When my husband comes home, he tries to greet me first, then the kids. After that the kids are sent to the other room to play for a few minutes so we can have some time to discuss whatever is needed without yelling over all the loudness that comes with having 4. (Well, except for the Teeny Tiny Tot, nothing can keep her from her daddy when he first walks in. Did I mention my motto: blessed are the flexible?)

3. Children: These little guys are nothing more than treasures in heaven! It is our job to “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Prov 22:6 God has given us the greatest gift ever, and it blows my mind that He’s entrusted us to raise one of his precious children, not to mention 4 of them! Sometimes I just scratch my head and wonder what God was doing when He made this choice, but then I’m reminded that He knows what He’s doing regardless of whether or not I do! And Praise God for that! I try to make an effort to spend a little bit of time each day 1-on-1 with each child. It can be as simple as sticking my 3yr old on the counter to keep me company while I make dinner, to reading with my 6yr old at night. Whatever it is, take a couple minutes each day to personally tell your children that you love spending time with them!

4. Homeschool: We truly believe we are called to homeschool our children, and you can read more about it here. But I will say this, giving priority to homeschool has GREATLY impacted the quality and flow of our days this year. Previously, I was in denial, telling myself if it didn’t go well, we’d just put our daughter in public school. Finally I came to accept our choice and really made getting school done a priority. We do it first in our day, we are flexible, but mostly we do school before anything else. That includes phone calls, emails, blogging, errand running, etc. We made a Daily Schedule and try to stick to it. I don’t want to be so rigid as to quench the Holy Spirit moving in our day, so that said, I try to be flexible, praying for the Lord to order our steps for the day before I get out of bed. Getting school done early, also provides for fun free time in the afternoons, and also relieves the sense of unfinished school work “looming” over us all day long.

5. Homeschool Planning: As stated in #4, I made homeschool a priority this year. I had to make planning its own plate because it really is a separate commitment time-wise. I’d previously put this off just out of the sheer overwhelming feeling from organizing it all. But I set aside some time each week for planning time. This has proved to be invaluable in making our days run smoother as well as feeling like we are actually accomplishing something. I think having a plan and not sticking to it, is far superior to having no plan to start with! But that’s just me and how I roll.

So that’s 5 plates to be running back and forth between so far…(Really 8 if you divide up the kids, which sometimes happens) Now, I frankly feel this is enough to keep one busy enough, but I’ll still address the others I listed, just because they’re a part of our lives, and because, sadly, I can’t really stop cooking, cleaning or doing laundry!

6. 2 Dogs and a Cat: This one was easy…delegate! I have 4 kids, surely they can manage to feed the animals! Presto, one less plate for mom! Go Me! It also provided a stepping block to our new chore chart. We reward the kids with a quarter for each chore they choose to complete. No one is required to work here since they’re still young, but they can earn money for things if they so choose. Here’s a copy of our chore chart. They learn to earn, save, and work as a team to help out mom and dad. And the less chores mom has to do alone, the more time she has to play with the kiddos, this is a good motivator, because after all, most kids just want your time.

7. Cooking: I created monthly meal plans to help ease my meal-time anxiety. My mom also helps me out quite a bit here. She’s always looking for fun recipes that are easy to make, and she even comes up once a week to help me and cooks freezer meals. I also have a friend who spends one day a month cooking freezer meals, and then doesn’t cook the rest of the month! I haven’t been able to accomplish this just yet, but if you have a friend who is interested go for it! I also have some great websites to help you out:

• My Monthly Meal Planning
• Weekly Menu and grocery list!
• The weekly menu (cook once eat all week!)
• Menus 4 Moms
• Once A Month Cooking
• Mom’s Budget Freezer Meals
• Crockpot Recipes
• Crockpot Recipes

8. Family Time: In today’s society, this has to be a priority! Since my husband is away from home working all day, we do our best to make sure we eat dinner each night as a family. We also have a bedtime routine which we try to follow. I stress “try” because it doesn’t always go down like this, but like I say “Better to have a plan and not follow it, than to not have a plan at all!” Our goal is for both my husband and I to do bedtime together. We give baths, brush teeth, then gather for a family devotion time before bedtime.  I think its all too easy to forgo family time and let everyone do their own activities without realizing the long term effects this can have on your relationships. Dinner time is also a great way to gather the whole family!

9. Cleaning: I happen to be a neat freak. This proves to be a challenge with the whole homeschooling thing. However, it also makes to keep our house somewhat orderly. We do a fun thing called “Ten Minute Tidy”, this is where we run around like mad putting away anything found on the floor before Daddy gets home. We set a timer and its like a race! For the rest of cleaning, I delegate some of these tasks. I already mentioned our chore chart, we use this daily to make sure things get done. A great resource for organizing cleaning is The Fly Lady, if you have issues in this area, she’s great! Tip: Put on some music while you’re cleaning, and make it fun!

10. Laundry…oh the dreaded laundry! Even after explaining to my kids that they don’t need to change 5 times a day, they still seem to rack up the piles! Now that they’re a little older, the 5 and 6 yr old have to help out putting their own clothes away. I did teach my 6 yr old how to run the washer and dryer, but I usually supervise this as pouring liquid soap into the washing machine cup seems to be so much fun that one doesn’t want to stop pouring even though the line has been reached. I’m sure people handle this differently, however I chose to do 1 load a day. Its not as overwhelming as doing a zillion loads on the weekend, and its less scary for the kids (and me) to put away a couple outfits as opposed to a whole weeks worth!

11. Kid’s Activities: We decided to allow our children to do one activity at a time each. My girls do dance, and gymnastics.My son prefers Lacrosse and Baseball. For safety purposes and great physical exercise everyone does swimming year around. Any more than this and I think I would start to freak out, plus we want to make sure we have family time together with Daddy, and so we don’t want to be rushing from one thing to the next, thereby causing “stress” for our children and for mommy.

12. Ahh, finally….me time! Sorry ladies, but I’ve searched diligently, and unfortunately “me time” is nowhere to be found in the Bible! Well, technically it is there, its just listed as “selfishness”. The good news here is that if you start off with plate 1, time with God, He will give you the rest you need, and He even throws in some “me time” when He knows I need it most!

And finally…simplify! Take a look at all of your plates, pray for wisdom to know what God has for you right now, and what He doesn’t. Don’t waste your time on things that God isn’t in, you’ll just be spinning your plates in vain! Psalm 127:1 “Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain.”

Now, looking back I see that I have 12 plates spinning all at once usually, well 11 at best, and frankly, that’s a tad overwhelming. And this is AFTER I made my list, changed things up and minimized where I could. This is where being flexible is key. The point here is that you set God’s priorities in place for your life, so that when a plate falls, and they will, it’s not one of the big ones, get it?

In Reshaping it All, there is a chapter called, “Meekness isn’t a Weakness,” and in that chapter Candace and I talk about the character of Jesus Christ and His outstanding ability to bridle his anger. From this we can take an example from Jesus who went to the cross like a sheep to the slaughter.

We aren’t called to defend ourselves–we are called to defend our God and His Word. That’s why Jesus overturned the money changers tables. He was protecting God’s house. He never acted that way to defend himself, in fact they said all kinds of terrible things about him based on their lack of understanding and pure hatred, but He let it go.

There are times that falsehoods should be corrected—for sure–but it must be done in love. Letting it go is never the easy thing to do, but we aren’t called to do the easy–we are called to be different. A gentle spirit is an attractive one, and a kind word turns away wrath.

Loving those who are the most difficult to love sets us apart as people with genuine character. But it doesn’t matter if that impresses the people we love or not, what matters is that we are doing it for the sake of our Lord.

I’ve received so many letters in recent weeks from women who have told me that they have tried to make amends with people, but all they get in return is a slap in the face. I think the sting of the slap is something that many of us can relate to. I know I can. We send out love, but all we get in return is hate. We try to make things right, but sometimes people aren’t ready and willing to mend bridges just yet.

The truth is that doesn’t matter. Living a sacrificial life isn’t for the benefit of the recipient; it’s a gift to our Lord. God’s gift of love to the world was His son Jesus Christ, and Jesus Christ’s sacrificial death was an act of obedience to the Father. His entire life was a gift of obedience to the Father saying, “Not my will, but thine be done.”

We all know that there were many days when Jesus could have–and we might have–told someone off, but He didn’t. He lived to please the Father in heaven, not Himself.

I could leave you with a thousand and one thoughts on this topic today, but I’m going to leave you with the one that’s been on my heart most lately. It’s the one that nudges me to keep reaching out in love, to keep turning the other cheek, and to keep my eyes focused on God. It is this:

Blessings,

Darlene Schacht
www.timewarpwife.com

Fear not. Magazine level decor can truly be yours. It is not a matter of having a home that makes the Jones’s happy {unless YOU are the Jones’s} – it is a matter of having a home that reflects peace, order, and beauty.  So, forget about keeping up with others, and set the bar high for your family and your joy.

This is not for the feign-of-heart. I am here to tell you that your home can feel like a photo-worthy space. You will need a large trash bag, some creative shuffling, and some elbow grease. And GUTS. Did I mention guts?

Are you willing?

1. Edit, Edit, Edit

Step one is the hardest one, but the most essential. THE. MOST. ESSENTIAL.

In fact, may I share one of my favorite sayings that is SO true {albeit a tad blunt}?:  BEAUTIFUL SPACES ARE NOT FILLED WITH JUNK.

Remind yourself: this is a VERY FREE way to create beauty in your home!!

So, once you are convinced that you need to Edit, now you must roll up your sleeves and put in the work. Editing requires that you 1. Take the time 2. Set the standards High and then 3. Just do it! My mantra when I am editing is: Do I LOVE it or Do I USE it? No? Hmm. It probably does not make the cut!

The blessing? You are not owned by STUFF, and you can pass your unused things on to those that actually need them.

And be forewarned, Editing is not a once and done process in the home, but an ever evolving task that is best when done regularly.

2.Add symmetry

Once you have pared your room down to the essentials and the things you love, you are ready to start the rearranging process.

Take a look at what you have in your room, and look for pairs. Pairs of end tables. Pairs of pillows. Pairs of art. Pairs of lamps. {These pairs do not need to match identically, but they should be equivalent in size and form}.

Next, take your pairs, and place them symmetrically throughout the space. If folded in half, parts of the room should match up similarly {not necessarily identically}. This is easiest to understand if you look at a photo. Let’s take this living room from one of my favorite designers, Katie Ridder.

Whether or not you would want your room to have a look or feel like this, you can still use this photo to study the FREE design tool of symmetry.  Upon studying this picture, I immediately see several symmetrical elements:

Get the general idea? You can use these ideas to add symmetry to your space at home. Again, creative thinking and elbow grease may be required. You may even have to shop around your house, and steal things from another room, but there should be no cost involved.

3. Add art and beauty

I am here to tell you that this does not have to cost you  a thing. Below is a list of artful items that, when displayed in a lovely manner, can give your home that gorgeous magazine feel.

1. FREE branches from your yard, or the yard of a friend. Even more glorious if you can find a branch that is in bloom.

2. FREE Printables to add art to your space {try these free maps, or these free botanical prints}

3. Hang groupings of plates on the wall. Use the pretty ones you own, but just sit in a drawer. FREE!

4. Do you have other groupings of things, just sitting in a drawer, that would look beautiful if hung on the wall? Antique baskets? old silver platters? straw hats? Select unique and artful collections, and hang them with symmetry. FREE!

5. And don’t forget the age old practice of keeping a flower garden, and then filling your home with the flowers. for free!

And these are just a few ideas for ways to add beauty and art into your home. The fun part is that you can do these now. Today!

So, now you have some very free tools, and hopefully the inspiration and motivation. Free yourself of things you don’t need, and add in other {free} decorative touches, and you will breathe more easily in your beautiful, peaceful and orderly space – a space that is pretty enough to be in pictures!

* * * * * * *

{images via: 1. BHG.com, 2. Katie Ridder, 3. Sarah Richardson}

Photo credit

All different types of explanations exist in modern America when it comes to “special needs.”  The myriad of diagnoses, both medical and psychological, are becoming more everyday terms.  Handicapped parking places and wheelchair accessibility are now part of architectural standards.  Educational systems are more sophisticated than ever with premier planning and motivation.   Not that we have zero problems, but we’ve made serious strides in medical care and individualized education in today’s society in comparison to decades ago.

Fellow special needs parents smile and nod in acknowledgement of the additional blessing in their lives.  To little ones, we might say “She has a booboo in her brain, Honey. It’s ok- just say ‘Hi!’”

Yet one thing remains the same- a small label we embrace entitled “normal.”

Normal seems to be the lock to the door of opportunity.

Normal is defined by a range of cognitive skills and behavioral patterns that are typical for humans.   It is reaching developmental milestones in timely fashion. It is functioning with a whole body. No deafness, no blindness, no limited speech.  If you’re not “normal”, then opening the lock on opportunity is more difficult.

Dictionary.com defines normal as “conforming to the standard or the common type.”

Perhaps we don’t need a new definition of normal.  We just need to transform the “uncommon” into the common standard.

What if normal was trying your hardest and receiving recognition for your best effort?

Or normal is giving a high five to the people who came in last. Because they finished.

Wouldn’t it be fabulous if normal was looking people in the eye and smiling because you never know what obstacle they faced that day?  Or simply offering to assist when you truly don’t have time to “get involved.”

Normal has abnormal potential.  The fabulous thing about unlocking its potential is that each of us hold a key.  We all have the same opportunity to set a new “normal” standard.  The shape of each of our keys will look different, but they all have the same ability- unlocking normal.

Kindness.

It’s the new normal.

The expression “men are like microwaves, women are like slow cookers” is often uttered at marriage conferences, because it’s supposed to be very profound.

Here’s what it means:

Men are like microwaves. They heat up quickly. Women, on the other hand, heat up very slowly. Then, by the time it’s all over, they’re really tender.

I don’t buy it.

Sure, there’s an element of truth to it, as every married woman will know. Most men do tend to be “in the mood” almost instantaneously (although in about 25% of cases the man has the lower sex drive).

But are we really slow cookers? To say that we are implies that we will, eventually, actually heat up. But there’s no guarantee! For women, sex is primarily in our brains. Our brains need to be in gear for our bodies to follow. He can do the exact same thing to you tonight that had you in raptures a few nights ago, but if you have kids’ schedules and to-do-lists in your head, you’ll likely remain stone cold.

You can really only say that women are like slow cookers if you also acknowledge that it’s women who control the switch. It’s a decision that we make to enjoy this. Have you ever been having a very good time with your husband when you realize all of a sudden that you don’t have milk in the fridge for breakfast in the morning? You start ticking off a mental grocery list in your head, and you’re gone! You’re not paying attention anymore, and your body follows into the abyss.

That’s because we were made very differently. Men’s bodies are more tuned to desire sex quickly. Women, on the other hand, were designed to desire relationship first. To put it another way, men make love to feel loved, whereas women need to feel loved in order to make love. Our motivations are different, and our responses are different. But it’s all so that both sexes have an incredible drive and need for each other that is expressed in slightly different ways. And that means that to get our primary need met, we have to meet each other’s primary need. We are forced to be selfless, generous, and giving in the marriage relationship.

That’s a good thing! So next time you’re wondering why your husband doesn’t want to talk and snuggle as much, and why he’s only interested in one thing, realize that he is not a lesser human being. It’s not that you are morally superior because you value relationship first; it’s that you are simply different, and that’s the way God made you.

Don’t concentrate so much on what you need; try to step out and give him what he needs, too. Think about sex in a positive way, where you’re “flipping the switch”, so to speak. Anticipate it. Enjoy it. Even initiate!  Most women, when they start to make love, aren’t actually aroused yet. But once you start, your body follows if you make that mental decision to enjoy this. So just because you don’t feel “in the mood” first doesn’t mean you aren’t. It just means that your body hasn’t picked up your mental signals yet. When it does, you’ll probably be fine. And as you flip that switch, he’ll feel more loved, and thus more affectionate and giving towards you, too.

That’s how we were designed. It works beautifully when we decide that we’re going to give to each other, but someone has to take that first step and decide to reach out. You need to flip that switch! Can you do that today? You just may find that you’ll heat up, after all!

Sheila blogs at To Love, Honor and Vacuum, where her 29 Days to Great Sex series has helped lots of couples “flip the switch”! She’s the author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, help for women who want to experience the best sex life emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

Connecting with my daughter isn’t hard.  She is a sweet, fun-loving girl that shares a common love to read with me. The hard part about spending quality time with her is planning ahead and finding special things we can do together.  And, since she has 4 brothers, a little girl time is always welcome! Here are some ways that we have found to connect…maybe they will inspire you!

1. Start a Mama and Me journal.  I saw this a while ago and immediately made one for my daughter and I.  It has been a wonderful way to hear her heart and tell our thoughts to each other!

Source: mama-jenn.blogspot.com via Joy on Pinterest

2. Read a book together. Find a book that you can both enjoy together and pick a night of the week to read together.  A couple of great ones to start with are Little Women or Anne of Green Gables.  Then, when you are done, you can watch the movie together!

Source: windmillsnat.tumblr.com via Joy on Pinterest

3. Go for a hike. There is something about being outdoors together that makes it easy to talk. Try going for an easy hike, bike rider, or walk to get the communication flowing.

4. Drink some tea. Nothing says relax and enjoy like sipping a cuppa and chatting.  Make it special by serving it on a tray with a special napkin, some flowers, and some cookies!

Really, these ideas are just a relevant for boys too, so whether you decide to use them with your daughter or your sons, just think about taking some time to spend pro-actively with your child today!

What are your simple ideas for spending time with your daughter {or son}?

Begin by making Mom’s place setting extra special. Simply place a pretty napkin on her plate and add a card with a special message or verse. Add a little sprig of greenery or a flower from your yard. Simple but sweet! You can also tie her utensils with a pretty ribbon for extra color. If you prefer to serve her brunch already plated, put the pretty napkin, card and flower above or next to her plate.

One of the reasons I love this brunch menu is that you can make most of it the day before and store it covered in your refrigerator. I love a meal that you can make ahead! It sure makes the special day a little easier on you!

Enjoy spoiling the nurturing, encouraging women in your life. They deserve a little extra attention EVERY day

Cranberry Chicken Salad with Roasted Pecans

Ingredients:

• 4 cups chopped, cooked chicken breast (skin removed)
• 4 stalks celery, chopped
• 3 green onions, sliced
• 1/3 cup dried cranberries
• 1/3 cup toasted pecans (toast in 350 degree oven for 8 minutes)
• 1/3 cup sour cream (regular or lite)
• 1/3 cup mayonnaise (regular or lite)
• 2 teaspoons dried tarragon
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper

Combine chicken, celery, onions, cranberries and pecans in a large mixing bowl. In a separate bowl, whisk together the remaining ingredients. Stir half of the creamy mixture into the chicken mixture until combined. Add more of the creamy mixture until you have the desired consistency.

Cover and store in the refrigerator until ready to serve. I like to serve it with a cool, refreshing fresh fruit salad. YUM!

You can serve this salad on mini croissants with lettuce or sprouts or both.

Or you can serve on a bed of lettuce. Add a few halved grapes and garnish with extra toasted pecans. Serve a mini croissant or whole grain crackers on the side.

And for a pretty dessert… Creamy Lemon Tartletts! This is so easy you don’t need ANY cooking experience to whip up these beautiful and very tasty treats! And the ingredients (only four of them!) are pretty much already prepared. You just have to mix and assemble.

Creamy Lemon Tartletts

Ingredients:

• 1 package mini fillo shells (in the frozen section of grocery store)
• 1 jar lemon curd
• 1 container frozen whipped topping
• 1 container blueberries or raspberries

Spoon about half of the jar of lemon curd into a mixing bowl. Gently whisk in a spoonful of the whipped topping until smooth. (This helps soften the lemon curd.) Then whisk in a little more whipped topping until you are happy with the taste. I typically end up using equal amounts of lemon curd and whipped topping but you can adjust to your taste. Lemon curd is very zippy! Mellow it as much as you want. Your cream should end up a pretty soft yellow color.

Once you have the creamy mixture where you want it to be, spoon filling into the fillo shells using a small spoon. Arrange berries on top and serve on a platter garnished with berries or lemon slices.

Happy Mother’s Day! And happy spoiling!